Tue 3 Mar 2009
I lost it, folks. It’s gone. The entry I wrote up to post today is wherever scattered 1s and 0s go, in the computer world.
I am tired for a reason I can’t explain - nor do I even know what it is. I cannot tell what is amiss. It feels something like an itch that you feel but can’t scratch because you don’t know where it is. (Does that happen to anyone else?
I feel tired especially of interacting with people, and of singing for them, and smiling for them. I feel as if performers must eventually take years off from their job just to recover. Or maybe I am just feeling the toll of being sick for weeks and weeks. Of course, people say “It’s ministry, and you’re singing to the Lord, not to people!” It doesn’t change the fact that I am doing a performance. I perform in front of people and put on a performance smile. I carry equipment to perform with, and drive around to perform all of the time. If I am not performing for people, then why do they stand there and look at me for hours while I sing? Why can’t I sing behind them, or next to them? Because I’m performing for them.
Maybe I am just still sick, though my symptoms are almost gone.
____________________________
Something is missing in my life.
Posted by Bonnie under Uncategorized
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:44 pm
I think it’s called “Burn Out”. I have seen what you do and it is amazing. I almost feel guilty watching you perform, set up to perform and interact with people. It is as though you are all give and no receive. I enjoy you so much but I will do without you if you will give yourself a rest. I could see that you are tired. That’s why you are sick all the time. And, that’s why I sent you the flowers. You give sooooo much and get so little in return.
BTW: I like your new picture on facebook. I’m not sure I can send the message on facebook because I’m still learning the system.
March 4th, 2009 at 2:57 am
I am pretty sure that I just saw Jim’s helicopter sitting on top of Bonnie’s wall. Maybe it was my imagination. No, my imagination cannot hover, like a helicopter can do. It was a helicopter, definitely.
Not to change the subject, but in reflection, I like the word Kayak. It’s palindromic.
Ma’am.
–g♥
March 5th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
The boy’s were laughing the whole time they were reading this. They also said to say that you don’t have to smile while performing because they don’t! lol!
Tash