Outside of the library window, there is a vast blue sky stretching out as far as the eye can see, and I know it extends even beyond where I can see. Sometimes life feels like that. All you’ve got is a blue sky, Bonnie. Other people have excitement and interesting detailed lives, and all you have is a blank.

However, I forget what it is that I’m actually doing. School, for one thing, is something that I’m doing towards a goal that is very important to me. The music I’m going to be practicing this afternoon is working towards another important goal. It’s always greener on the other side of the fence, I do believe. Maybe I’m feeling a little down because school is out and there’s nothing that I’m required to study :P

This morning is an unusual lull. I always think that what I really want is just time to relax and do nothing, but then when it comes, it only makes me down. Right before and right after getting out from work are the best times :) I know I’m almost finished, and then I know I’ve done a lot of work. And then it’s over and it’s time to face going to work again.

I know what my problem is. I just finished looking at pictures of my family on facebook. It’s the feeling I got when I left home to study Greek at my grandparents’ house. Things are going on. Only that time, I talked on the phone with my family, and they told me about what was going on (and I was only nine). This time, I see things as someone spying, nearly, and I am not allowed to be told from the participants how fun something was, or how they missed me.

I really miss you. I feel awful that you never pick up the phone. It rips me up inside. 

Posted by Bonnie under Uncategorized